The Colonel's
Wok Don't Run Stir Fry

Before you start cooking anything in this dish, you need to prepare everything first. Cut your Onion, Peppers, and Celery into chunks and set aside. Anything that's comes in a can should be opened and standing by. Then make a marinade for your meat out of a heaping Tablespoon of cornstarch and a good slosh (About 1/4 cup) of soy sauce. If you need more liquid, use water, but not too much. Cover the meat with this marinade and set it aside. Now, you're ready to cook. Get your wok really hot! Then drizzle in about a Tablespoon or so of Peanut Oil. It's gotta be Peanut Oil or it will burn! Now sprinkle about half a teaspoon or so of Garlic Powder on the Oil. The Garlic Powder does two things. First it flavors the Oil nicely, and second, it acts as a temperature gauge. You want the Garlic to get toasty brown. If it gets darker than that, throw it and the Oil out and start over. You'll be glad you did. When your Garlic is toasty brown, carefully add your Celery, Onions, and Peppers. I know, I know all the cooking shows say to cook the meat first, but this ain't no cooking show, so cook the harder vegetables first. Stir them in the Oil like crazy for about three or four minutes (absolutely no more than five!) Empty them into a large bowl, and set aside. Now let your wok get hot again, and add Oil and Garlic like before. You're ready to cook your meat. Add it to the wok. Again be careful! This sucker's HOT!! Stir it nonstop until the meat is almost completely cooked. It might be a good idea to keep a pitcher of water handy. As the meat cooks, add a little water at a time to make a gravy, and to help keep the meat from sticking to the hot wok. Now, add any of the Chinese Vegetables you want and the mushrooms. You can add the Chinese Hot Pepper Garlic Sauce and a little more soy sauce, if you like, at this time, too. Stir this until the meat gets cooked through. Pour in the vegetables you cooked previously. Stir some more, and cover for a couple more minutes. Another good stir, and it's ready! Serve with rice and/or Chow Mein noodles. You may never call out for Chinese again!