The Leaf Truck Came By My House Last Night

Colonel St. James

The leaf truck came by my
house last night.
Sucked up those leaves
all nice and tight.

I watched 'em work
and was proud to say
"Hey leaf guys, thanks
for takin' my leaves away.
You leaf guys look like
you're havin' fun,
to me you leaf guys are number one!"

But I guess the leaf guy's
vision was none too acute.
For he misunderstood
my number one salute.
Put down his rake.
Put down his hose.
And came and punched me
in the nose.

He stood right there,
spit out his chaw,
made some unkind
references about my Ma!
Then just as he was
almost gone.
He dumped them leaves
all over my lawn.

My nose is broken
I do believe
for wavin' at those guys
a suckin' leaves.
So, now I'm rakin'
and that's my beef.
And no truck's comin'
for my relief.

So if you want to
avoid a fight,
keep your hands in your pockets,
and your mouth shut tight.
The leaf truck's comin'
to your house tonight.